I am a mother of one aged 25. I was impregnated at high school. This year l found a man who wants to marry me. Can l tell him that l have a child?
Thank you for writing to my column. Am sorry that you fell into teenage traps and got impregnated while in high school. A lot of ladies are faced with this kind of dilemma when they finally get into a serious relationship. There are no two ways about it my dear. Your boyfriend should know that you have a baby. You should have told him in the infancy of your relationship than to wait until now. You cannot hide such a truth. If his love for you is genuine he will still go ahead and marry you. However, be prepared for the worst in case he doesn’t take it lightly since it took you so long to tell him. If you don’t tell him he will still find out and you will be labeled with negative names. Tell him now, you might be surprised that he will still love you and your child. There are many people with such scenarios but they are happily married and it is my prayer that you also find this kind of a favour from your boyfriend. If he decides break up with you, I know you will be hurt but it’s not the end of the world. God will still open a marriage door for you. Do not jump up and about devaluing yourself because you were once impregnated. I wish your boyfriend could also understand that you love him so much and that you still make a wonderful wife despite your past. I wish you the best and looking forward to wedding invitations.
I am a girl aged 19 born positive. l found a guy who is mature and he is serious about our relationship. He wants us to go for HIV testing before marriage. l am afraid of losing him.
Thank you for writing to my column and thank you for your willingness to seek advice at your age. Many people make wrong decisions in life due to failure to consult and seek advice. The fact that you are HIV positive doesn’t make you less important. It’s not a choice that you are in this condition. You were born like that and please forgive your parents for exposing you to such. Your boyfriend should know your condition right away even before you go for tests my dear. This will be an act of honesty which many in your condition lack. You might be surprised to see him accepting you as you are. Being HIV positive does not disturb anything. You can observe your medical requirements and also bear children. Even if he then rejects you it’s fine. Many people still stigmatise people with HIV and it requires to have a deep understanding to accept. You are still young and I urge you to be confident with yourself and pursue education or find yourself a career so that you don’t have to sorely depend on anyone. You will find someone to marry you in due season. Believe God for a happy marriage. All the best.